Category Archives: BLOGS

You can’t solve a problem with the same mindset that created it

Do you know people who always seem great in a crisis? It is easy to think of them as great problems solvers. You may even think of them as having problem solving skills which you do not possess. That is not necessarily true.

The most important factor in dealing with a crisis is the ability to stay calm and composed. It is only when you are calm and composed that you can think clearly and explore all your available options.

This makes is easier to find the right solution to the problem because you are focused on the solution, not the problem.The solution is rarely anything new or super creative.
It is usually just a matter of being able to stay calm enough to remember what you already know.

When you lose your composure, you focus solely on the problem. Because you can’t think clearly, you can’t assess the situation accurately and you can’t access the immense wisdom you already possess.You remain stuck in the same mindset that created the problem and as Einstein said:
‘You can’t solve a problem with the same mindset that created it’

If you look at any job that must deal with high pressure situations, a large part of the training focuses on the ability to remain calm and composed under pressure.

That’s because:

  • It is the first step in problem solving
  • It prevents difficult situations from becoming problems
  • It prevents problems from escalating and taking on a life of their own

Your work might not be what we would normally think of as high pressure but we all face pressure daily. Remaining calm and composed will reduce the problems in your life and help you deal with the problems which could not be prevented.

It is often the difference between high productivity and high stress levels.

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ODINGA vs KENYATTA FULL JUDGEMENT LESSONS TO/FOR THE YOUNG MINDS

ODINGA vs KENYATTA FULL JUDGEMENT

LESSONS TO/FOR THE YOUNG MINDS

Close to 12hrs  of reading and listening, the youth should learn from the whole session. I have watched, listened and learnt thus making my own observations and extracting moral lessons from the Panel, senior councils, lawyers and the audience present.

Eppie Lederer wrote, “If you think education is expensive, Try ignorance”, a quote that appeared in context in an Ann Landers column – pseudonym in 1975. To-day books are no longer the advantage of the rich, but an advantage which the poor MUST enjoy equally with the wealthy for a successful Nation. Anyone, anywhere should observe Malcolm X’s quote, “Read absolutely everything you get your hands on because you’ll never know where you’ll get an idea from…”

Wednesday, September 20 2017, goes to the history books. It will take an eternity to erase the memory of the moments. Kenya, has we go down in history, we especially the youth need to pick up life teachings from the SUPREME JUDGEMENT.

Many young people will devote their time on meaningless material. We need to rethink. Every participant from the look of things, was well informed and up-to-date with what exactly they wanted and supposed to say. That simply called for adequate preparations and devotion to one’s ambition and passion.

Political loyalties aside, Judges Rulings notwithstanding, education and information remains essential. The decorum and modesty carried by all participants are vices we all must replicate.

Moral lessons;

  1. Modesty

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that modesty is more than just clothing—it is a way of thought, action, and attitude, in addition to dress. And although the fundamental principles of modesty have not changed since many of us were teenagers, the times and world situations that young women and men are living in today are ever changing—and the way we need to approach modesty with youth is in dire need of a makeover itself.

A modest monk will be quiet, not flamboyant, in his prayer. A modest judge will be humble in the face of the sovereign law and his or her own authority. A hundred years ago, modest, well-mannered ladies and domestic servants kept their intelligent opinions and strong passions to themselves, as expected.

Notwithstanding its detractors, general modesty is often a positive character trait practiced by academics, ancient and modern equally. General modesty is a Christian virtue that is shared by other major religious traditions. General modesty may have inherent value, but it has practical value, too, because it can be socially advantageous to avoid provoking “an envy response in others.”

Modesty is so important to social harmony that men and women who are not modest are expected by the rules of etiquette to convincingly fake modesty. Pretending to be modest is of little practical value, though, when pretense fails to veil frank conceit.

  1. Professionalism

The presentation of the professional values is remarkable for its context attitude. Four capacities are set out as fundamental to the professionalism and values of all participants;

  • Knowledge, skills and performance;
  • Quality;
  • Communication, partnership and teamwork
  • Maintaining trust.
  1. Developing an understanding – Exercise is Power

Exercise should be a daily priority for everyone. It makes you physically, mentally, and emotionally stronger. It improves your health and your outlook. It is the remedy for just about everything.

Learning theorists argue that expertise is best developed through doing. Learning by doing is always to some degree developmental. Effective learning requires research, practice, feedback and a response to the feedback on that practice.

Importantly, and something that can be easily overlooked in this, is that the contributor should communicate as clearly as possible the aims as well as the content of what is being submitted. This clarity of the aims or the goal is essential because it is the process of doing, feedback, reflection, repeating, that constitute the practice being learned.

From the long session, it was clear that, partakers in their submissions, practice and understanding of the subject matter was by doing over and over again.

  1. Patience and Humility

Heroism, self-denial, and even martyrdom are worthless without humility and patience. This book shows you how to develop these two key virtues, no matter how difficult your circumstances may be.

Please remain calm! Remaining calm in tough situations is a bigger challenge, but equally as important.  Surprises can get to us mentally and emotionally. Even the strongest of people can succumb to the almighty power of unpredictability.

The calmness in the court proved beyond reasonable doubt that staying calm will make you more likeable and make others think that you are more in control than you actually are. You can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you handle situations in a way that will have people gravitate toward you.

It might seem obvious that humility and calmness are positive traits. But in case you ever needed more of a reason to exhibit these things, they don’t just help others—they help you and make your life easier.

No matter what happens, always try and remain calm and keep from going off the deep end. Everyone you’ve ever met is trying to do the exact same thing you are. Life is a lot easier when you accept that you aren’t the only one living it.

  1. Respect other peoples opinion

People come from different backgrounds and are brought up to believe in different viewpoints. We are all influenced by a number of things, such as our upbringing, our culture, parental views. Put yourself in your friends’ shoes and try to ask if you’d believe the same things if you’d had the same experiences as them.

Try to understand their view

Whether its politics, religion, music taste or football, we all have different views, but respecting each other’s’ opinions is important for maintaining positivity. We are all the products of our own individual upbringing and experiences so it is completely natural that we will all have differences in opinions on a wide range of issues.

The world would be a very dull place if we were all the same and it’s the incredible diversity amongst people throughout the world that makes it such a fascinating place. Tolerance is the key but you can still maintain your own identity and still have valid viewpoints. Remember, even identical twins have their own individual experiences and opinions and you probably don’t agree with everything your parents or children say but does that necessarily compromise you?

There are many things we can do to move towards accepting other people’s opinions and respecting our differences. At a very basic level, we should treat others with the same degree of respect as we would like to be treated ourselves. We should embrace our differences, not be afraid of them and we should never judge a person on our first impression which is often about how he or she looks. Taking the time to get to know the person within is a far better indicator than pre-judging them on appearances alone.

I GIVE THANKS

I give thanks to you, O Lord,

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TO GOD BE THE GLORY

For what you’ve blessed me with
The abundance of the blessings
From heaven that you give

 

For I have all received from you
The abundance from your hand
In many varied and different ways,
You’ve blessed us in this land

I only need to look around
At what you, Lord, have given,
To see the many blessings I have
And see your full provision

 

So, Lord, to you I give our thanks
With full and grateful hearts,
The blessing of family, friends and love
And just for who you are.

ASANTE BABA!!

Teach people how to treat you

Some people can cause us a lot of problems in our daily lives:

  • They treat us badly
  • They speak badly to us
  • They try to dump work on us
  • They delay us by not getting their work done on time
  • They interrupt us repeatedly


And a whole lot more.

It is easy to blame the other person for these problems but there is a simple truth we are ignoring – we teach people how to treat us.

Today’s article explains this in greater detail.

Check it out here

If you enjoy the article, please share to your social media.

Have a fantastic weekend…

11 Behavioural symptoms of stress

Like most problems; the sooner you spot stress the easier it is to manage. It pays to be familiar with the many different symptoms of stress. The symptoms of stress fall into many different categories e.g. behavioural, physical, emotional, psychological etc. Over the coming weeks I shall be discussing each of these, however, this week I shall begin with the behavioural symptoms of stress.

Stress can affect behaviour in many different ways but the following tend to be the most common behavioural symptoms of stress.

You can discover 10 Poweful Resourcs to eliminate stress with my FREE Report.

Get Your FREE Copy Here

Behavioural symptoms of stress

1. Sleeping difficulties

behavioural symptoms of stress insomnia

Sufferers of stress often find it difficult to switch off. With no activity to distract them, negative thinking, anxieties and worries take over the mind. Fear of having forgotten something and negative expectations of forthcoming events (e.g. interview, presentation) limits the ability to relax sufficiently to fall asleep. Sleep shortage and insomnia are often tell-tale signs of stress.

 2. Lack of punctuality

behavioural symptoms of stress poor punctuality

Timekeeping is one of the first things to suffer when an individual becomes stressed. They may take too many tasks on; try to avoid tasks and thus leave them until the last minute or they may be so overcome with worry/anxiety that they become forgetful. In order to remedy the situation, they must first identify why their punctuality is so poor.

 3. Absenteeism

behavioural symptoms of stress absenteeism

Stressed individuals tend to regularly miss work. They may be trying to avoid a difficult situation or they may be suffering the consequences of one of their coping mechanisms e.g. alcohol.

 4. Withdrawal

behavioural symptoms of stress withdrawal

Withdrawal is a common behavioural symptom of stress. The individual’s self-esteem and confidence may have taken a hit and as a consequence, they may no longer feel capable of coping with social situations. In order to protect their fragile confidence, they may choose to avoid all such situations.

 5. Exhaustion

behavioural symptoms of stress exhaustion

If we are to maximise our energy, one of the most important things for us to do is to balance our physical energy. There will be times when we are required to work at our maximum output for sustained periods. In order to do this we must implement periods of deep rest which enables both our body and mind to recover. Failure to do so can eventually result in burnout and chronic fatigue. The stressed individual may feel like they are constantly running from one emergency to another and thus fail to take the time to rest and recuperate. Constant fatigue is often a sign that someone is overwhelmed and experiencing stress.

 6. Addictive/excessive behaviour

behavioural symptoms of stress addictive behaviour

Those experiencing stress often don’t realise that it is stress which they are experiencing. Where they do realise this, they often have no idea how to deal with stress.  This can result in short term solutions which, though they have a temporary impact, have damaging long-term consequences. One of the most common coping mechanisms for dealing with difficulty is alcohol. While alcohol can have temporary benefit, it can be highly addictive and it fails to resolve the situation. Other coping mechanisms include smoking, illegal and prescription drugs.

 7. Unhealthy eating habits

behavioural symptoms of stress unhealthy eating

Comfort food is often sought as a solution to stressful situations. Indulging in convenience foods can make you feel better temporarily and saves time, however, these foods are rich in salt, sugar and fat which can lead to obesity, high blood pressure and heart related illnesses.

While we associate comfort eating with stress, some people have the opposite response to stressful situation i.e. they avoid eating. They may be experiencing a suppressed appetite, they may have developed a negative self image or they may have developed negative associations with food. Whatever the reason, the consequences of food avoidance can be every bit as devastating as the consequences of food indulgence.

 8. Risk-taking behaviour

behavioural symptoms of stress risk

A sudden development of risk taking behaviour can be a clear sign of stress. Individuals may be experiencing a low sense of self-worth or a lack of excitement in their lives.  They need a ‘buzz’ in their life and are willing to take bigger risks in order to get that buzz. Unfortunately, they level of risk they need to take to get the ‘buzz’ may increase steadily over time. They fail to see that as the risk gets bigger, so too do the potential consequences. Gambling is a common behavioural symptom of stress, which falls within this category.  Certain extreme sports and reckless driving are some of the other symptoms of stress which may fall under risk-taking behaviour.

 9. Accidents

behavioural symptoms of stress accident

Concentration tends to suffer greatly when one experiences stress.  In certain work places (generally more manual industries) this may result in a high number of accidents both fatal and non-fatal. Along with reduced concentration, the individual may also be overworked, poorly trained, displaying risk-taking behaviour or denied sufficient rest periods; all of which may be contributory factors in the stress.

You can discover 10 Poweful Resourcs to eliminate stress with my FREE Report.

Get Your FREE Copy Here

 10. High turnover in the workplace

behavioural symptoms of stress high turnover

Stressed employees are generally unhappy in their work situation. Sadly, many workplaces have not put the necessary training and procedures in place which would allow the employee to discuss their experience with their manager so that they may work together to find a solution. Rather than raise the issue, many stressed employees will choose to seek employment elsewhere.

 11. Suicidal talk or behaviour

behavioural symptoms of stress suicidal

Stress can diminish an individual’s self-esteem and sense of self-worth to the point where they feel that they cannot go on. In many such cases we do not get the opportunity to help the individual but in some cases they do drop subtle hints of their intentions. There are courses, such as ASIST, which can help to improve your chances of spotting these signs and intervening.

If you feel that you may be experiencing stress, check out Stress Free Living.

Many people feel too embarrassed or ashamed to openly discuss their experiences with stress. It is, therefore, essential that we familiarise ourselves with the behavioural symptoms of stress so that we may be able to identify what they are going through and remind them that the channels of communication are open and that we were willing to help them, or help them find more suitable help. You may in fact be experiencing stress yourself. It may be helpful to regularly remind yourself of the behavioural symptoms of stress so that you can identify it early and take appropriate action.

The 80/20 Principle…

I am a firm believer in the 80/20 principle.

It tells us that approx. 80% of our results come from approx. 20% of our actions.

The percentages are not always such but they are always heavily skewed in a manner which tells that very few of our actions produce most of our outcomes.

This tells us two things:

  1. We need to dedicate more time, energy and attention to the people and actions which produce the best outcomes for us.
  2. Most of our actions, and the people in our lives add very little, if any value to our lives.

If you think about the second point, you could cut out most of the actions and people from your life and your life would improve.

Less is more when the less is the stuff that really matters.

If you are like the average person, the following is probably true for you:

  • You spend too much time doing things which don’t need to be done
  • You spend too much time doing things which others should be doing
  • You spend too much time doing things because others want you to do them
  • You don’t spend enough time on the things which bring you the best results and most joy and happiness
  • You give too much time and attention to people who don’t add real value to your life
  • You don’t give enough time to the people who add the most value to your life

How much better would your life be if you sorted all that out?

There are 2 key steps to doing so and; you can make a start on both simultaneously.

  1. Identify the actions and people which bring the most joy and happiness into your life and dedicate more time to them.
  2. Make that time available by decluttering your life and removing the actions and people which add little or no joy and happiness to your life.

People forget about the importance of decluttering but the 80/20 principle also tells us that 5% of the people in your life will contribute about 50% of the people-related problems.

The same is likely true for actions and possessions.

So, start decluttering your life today and reap the rewards.

If you need help decluttering, this great resource will help.

We lost each other……

I could ask you to stay,
But there’s really nothing left to say.

This break up has been emotional and long,
But I know I’m strong.

I guess we naturally grew apart,
But it still hurts in my heart.

We went days without speaking or sending a text,
And all I could wonder what was next.

There were times we couldn’t look each other in the eye.
How did we get this far, and why did something so special have to die?

As I write this, memories flood me.
They remind of all we used to be.

Even when things we’re bad, I never thought this relationship would end.
Our broken hearts I thought we could mend.

Now you’ve left without a goodbye.
I’ve got no energy to even cry.

I knew it was over when we started doing things on our own.
You got so distant and I was alone.

I tired getting you to notice that I was still there,
But you made up your mind and didn’t care.

There’s many nights when you’re all that’s on my mind.
I hope happiness is what you find.

There are days when I just can’t get out of bed.
But “try” is what you always said.

So every day I try to put on a smile.
Even if it’s not a real one for a while.

We were together for so many years, so do you ever shed tears?
I know I’ve got to let you go,

And someday I will,
But mixed emotions are what I feel.

We both made our fair share of mistakes.
It feels like I’m drowning in sadness, anger, and resentment, all in different lakes.

I honestly wish you nothing but the best
As my strength and endurance is put to the test.

The 3 critical steps to deal with difficult people…

I have many concerns at this critical time in my motherland Kenya. Most of them are about one thing – Relationship difficulties.

And, it always seems to be a case of the other person being difficult to deal with.

It can be difficult to deal with difficult people but it is worthwhile learning to do so.

When you learn how to deal with difficult people, you experience a broad range of benefits:

  • You experience less conflict
  • You experience less stress
  • You save time and energy
  • You build better relationships
  • You achieve more by working better together

And much more.

There are 3 main things to consider when dealing with difficult people:

  1. You need to identify the type of difficult behavior you are being exposed to and; there are more than a few types.
  2. You need to identify the appropriate action to take to effectively deal with that behavior.
  3. You need to implement that action with confidence

The Deal with Difficult People Handbook will teach you how to do all 3.

You can reduce the stress and conflict in your life while improving your results through collaboration and cooperation.

You just need to deal with difficult people and difficult behavior.

PEACE IS ALL THAT WE WANT

If you need to start dealing with difficult people/behavior; you should check this deal out before the price shoots up:
The Deal with Difficult People Handbook

 

Characteristics of a Bad Leader

Characteristics of a Bad Leader

We have all been on the receiving end of bad leadership and that in itself is not a bad thing because we can learn from it. What is most important is to understand the underlying forces at work in bad senior leaders.

Much has been written to tell us about the “top traits of a bad boss” or “how to deal with an awful boss.” There is some great information here that should not be ignored and the ideas presented in them help us understand the “bad boss.” But they are generally focused on failing junior and middle-level leaders and managers.

Senior leaders who are bad at leading, bring a significant dimension of trouble in an organization. While this may be obvious on the surface of the statement, what leads to it may not seem so clear.

There are three crucial factors that are at play with understanding the success or failure of a senior leader: 1) Senior Leader Character, 2) Leadership Style, and 3) their Followers.

Senior Leader Character: Many senior leaders fail because they do not have a calling to leadership. This is a lack of passion. They also rely on their own skills to do everything and are generally blind to their inadequacies and drive. Frequently they see their position in terms of privilege and power (although they don’t admit it), and will ignore the advice of others. They are essentially unprepared for leadership and are unwilling to be held accountable for their conduct.

Leadership Style: Bad senior leaders also fail to have the proper vision or any vision at all for their organization. Vision must be methodically established and pursued on behalf of the organization … not as a response to competitors, organization problems, or personal factors. The strategic vision also helps to determine leadership style because it must be pursued vigorously. Those senior leaders who pursue a vision for the wrong reasons (e.g., personal gain) will be more inclined to value employee obedience over creativity.

Their Followers: Leadership involves the interplay between the skills of the leader, the needs of the organization, and the demands of the business. Employees/followers will act according to these factors by accepting or rejecting a leader and following the senior leader willfully or mechanically. People look for leadership and guidance, and when not provided, will react to reject those in leadership positions.

There have been a number of 360-degree feedback surveys in Fortune 500 companies and the results published. The results are helpful and are indicative of the issues discussed. Here are just a few examples of bad leaders:

  • Lack of direction (improper or no vision)
  • Lack of energy and enthusiasm (no passion)
  • Have poor judgement (poor decision-making processes)
  • Don’t collaborate (sees no need to enlist the assistance of others)
  • Resist new ideas (obedience is valued over creativity and hard work)
  • Lack interpersonal skills (also unwilling to improve social skills)
  • Don’t develop others (interested for themselves, not others)

Recognizing that the characteristics of a bad senior leader as the product of all three factors (Senior Leader Character, Leadership Style, and Followers), helps us understand better how to put solutions in place. Leaders must be aware of this to begin putting the organization on the right track for future survival.

 

LEARNING FROM THE PEOPLE YOU ADMIRE

When I want to improve my life, I generally think about what goals I need to create to get me there.

This usually serves me well.

When I achieve the goals, I will have made the improvements that I am looking to make in my life.

Seems obvious.

However, there are some situations where it is not the first step you must take.

When you are making major changes in your life, you usually need to take a look at the very essence of who you really are.

More importantly, you need to understand the very essence of the person you are trying to become because major change will cause you to change.

If you look at the people you admire and the kind of person you need to become, you will soon realize that it is not just their actions that you admire.

You admire their values too.

Maybe it’s their work ethic.

Maybe it’s their attitude to dealing with others.

Maybe it’s the value they place on their family life.

Whatever it is that you admire about these people, I am willing to bet that it can be traced directly back to their values.

That’s why, when you want to make major changes in your life, you need to identify the values that you will possess when you have successfully made those changes.

You can then compare them to the current values that you live by and identify any changes you need to make.

Don’t wait until you have made the changes to adopt any new values.

Adopt the new values first and you will find that you can make the changes much quicker and with less resistance.

Put values at the center of any major change you wish to make.

Be the person you wish to become.

If you are not clear on your values or the importance of values, find a mentor!!!

Kelvin Keya 

Emmanuel Ngore

Peter Quest

Liwali Kivumanyuki

Baraka…