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A simple 10 minute guide to amazing self-talk

A simple 10 minute guide to amazing self-talk
We each have many thousands of thoughts every day. Many of them come in the form of self-talk. How you talk to yourself is important for your confidence and self-belief but incredibly; it is often overlooked. Self-talk is a soundtrack that’s constantly playing in your head, and its impact is dramatic. The conversations you have with yourself help determine your emotions and actions. Think about it for a minute; if you are consistently beating yourself up, how can you ever expect to feel good about yourself or believe in yourself? And, as the old question goes, if you don’t believe in yourself, why would anybody else?

Discover The Fundamentals of a Positive Mindset

What are the consequences of negative self-talk?
One of the most common problems you will see from those with poor self-talk habits is that they consistently seek the approval of others. They are willing to give on their own wants, needs and desires in order to gain the approval of others. This is an incredibly unhealthy habit which leads to a severe lack of enjoyment and fulfillment along with a great deal of stress, anxiety and worry. And, it often stems from a lack of self-belief and self-esteem; evidenced by negative self-talk.

Dealing with negative self-talk
Do not underestimate the power of negative self-talk. If you are consistently reinforcing low opinions of yourself, you will come to believe them and act as if they are real. You may not even be aware of the full extent of your negative self-talk but when you’re armed with a little knowledge, you can make some really positive changes.
The following points will help you to learn about the different types of self-talk and how to use them to your advantage.

Self-Talk in General
1. Raise your awareness
Self-talk is so natural that you may not even realize what you’ve been saying to yourself all these years. With any change that you wish to make in your life, you need to become aware of the full extent of the problem before you can set about changing it.

The first step is to become conscious of the commentary you create about your life. Whenever you find yourself in a negative mood, pay attention to the things that you are saying to yourself and how they make you feel. You will soon begin to realise the level of damage that you are doing to yourself.

2. Disrupt old patterns
Just because you are saying it to yourself, it does not mean that it must be true. Do not be afraid to dispute your self-talk (yes you can have a little argument with yourself). Challenge any unduly harsh criticism by telling yourself, out loud if possible, that those comments are untrue and you are over reacting.

Self-talk is also a tool for making changes. For example, if you are beating yourself up about a lack of knowledge or skill, you can use this as an opportunity to create a learning plan for yourself and improve your knowledge and skills.
Note: if you are not prepared to tackle the knowledge or skill deficit, then the issue must not be that important for you so, let it go.

A friend of mine regularly beat himself up about not making the most of his schooling. I asked him if he was prepared to go back to education (at night) and he said ‘No’. I then asked him how it served him to keep beating himself up about something which he was not prepared to do anything about. He soon realised the folly of his behavior and he has since made some improvements.

3. Conduct a reality check
Assess how your self-talk measures up to what’s really happening around you. There’s a big difference between burning one slice of toast and being a failure in the kitchen.
Disputation is a powerful tool. Do not just accept what you say in your self-talk. Challenge any negative thoughts until you have developed a more realistic viewpoint. You don’t have to force yourself to be optimistic about everything but you do need to avoid undue negativity.

4. Talk it over
Feedback from others is also valuable. See how your impressions compare to what your coworkers or partner say about you. You must remember that you cannot be truly objective in your own life, thus making it hard to be completely realistic. Friends tend to be more objective (though not always) and will generally be more realistic in their assessments.
Gaining a 360-degree view on yourself, from people whom you can trust to be honest, will help you to be more realistic.

5. Be consistent
If you are negative with your self-talk, it didn’t happen overnight. You will have been telling yourself the same negative messages, over and over again, until you got to a point where you accepted them as true. That is the power of consistency. The good thing is that you can use consistency to your advantage too.
We need to hear a message multiple times before we accept it. So, instead of the negative messages which you have been feeding yourself, choose a kinder, more supportive message which you can give to yourself. Whenever you find yourself been negative, take charge of your self-talk and deliver this message to yourself, repeatedly. Your inner dialogue will grow wiser with practice and your self-talk will gradually become kinder.

6. Regard yourself as a friend
We sometimes speak more harshly to ourselves than we would to anyone else. Instead, talk to yourself as though you were a loving friend. Seek to be truthful and supportive with yourself.

Motivational Self-Talk
1. Build up your strength
Motivational self-talk tends to work best in situations that require endurance and confidence. A pep talk can boost your confidence and make you believe in your worth and abilities.
Don’t expect it to happen overnight. Remember that before you truly believe a message, you must receive that message repeatedly. Every time that you are in a position which requires some motivational self-talk, take the opportunity to deliver your positive message. With every use, you will believe it that little bit more.

2. Find your hot buttons
Not every message will work for every person. Certain words resonate better with some than others. To find the right message, you may need to do a little experimenting. Have some fun to find the message that resonates best with you.
Choose words that invigorate you. You may want to call yourself a superhero or remind yourself that you’re awesome.

3. Keep it brief
Don’t try to deliver a rousing speech like Mel Gibson in ‘Braveheart’. It’s a bit like saying ‘No’ to someone. If you provide too much information, you give them something to argue with and pick holes in so, you are better off just saying ‘No’.

When giving yourself a motivational pep talk, don’t give yourself anything to argue with. Using single words and short phrases helps you stay on track. You’ll be more likely to focus on your assets without getting distracted by nagging doubts.

Instructional Self-Talk
1. Start early
New projects provide an ideal opportunity for instructional self-talk. Coach yourself during the important beginning stages. Be kind, gentle and supportive; just as you would be if you were coaching somebody else.
This provides a great opportunity to be proactive with your self-talk. Because you are being proactive and positive, you will drown out much of the negative self-talk which you may have become accustomed to. Instead of 100% negative self-talk, you will dilute it down with every positive piece of self-talk that you deliver.

2. Be precise
Break tasks down into specific steps. If you’re working on your public speaking, urge yourself to make eye contact, talk at an appropriate pace, and sound enthusiastic during your speech.
It is best to just focus on one or two of these habits with each speech. You will soon find that you do them without thinking about them and you can then focus on a different new habit for the next speech.

3. Visualize success
Picture yourself getting the results you want. Self-talk doesn’t always take the form of words. The images you present yourself with will also deliver either a positive or negative message. When you focus on a positive imagery i.e. achieving your goals, you are reminding yourself that you can do it; that you have the knowledge, skills and attributes necessary to be a success.

Positive visualization is one of the most powerful self-talk habits that you can practice. They say that a picture paints 1,000 words so make sure that you are focusing on positive, empowering imagery.

Reassuring Self-Talk
1. Acknowledge your feelings
Soothing self-talk can help you manage tense moments with more comfort and skill. For best results, accept your emotions instead of trying to suppress them. You can act courageously even if you feel afraid.

2. Create distance
A recent study found that calling yourself by name or substituting the word “you” instead of “I” enabled people to perform better under stress. It’s one way to restore objectivity when you’re feeling pressured.

3. Look on the bright side
Self-talk won’t make life’s challenges disappear. Bad things happen and if you want to continue to grow and thrive, you need to take on bigger and bigger challenges. There will be times when you have doubts and difficulties but these are opportunities to advance yourself.

So how can self-talk help? It can help you respond more constructively. Instead of criticising yourself for a past misstep, concentrate on what you can do better in the future.? It enables you to realise that you are a fallible human being. You understand that just as you have the ability to You don’t have to live with negative self-talk. It doesn’t have to be something which just happens. If you leave your negative self-talk unchallenged, the consequences will continue to get worse, to the point where they cripple your self-belief and self-esteem.

Instead, you can channel your self-talk and start moving in a positive direction. Get in touch with the thoughts that automatically run through your head, and turn them into a steady stream of encouragement. You’ll reduce stress, enhance your self-confidence, and enjoy more success in life.




Success and happiness in life is all about being the best ‘You’ that you can be.

Authenticity is often overlooked component of happiness.

Many people give in to their need for the approval of others. They are happy to change their behavior and act against their values and beliefs in order to gain the approval of others.

However, you can never be truly happy by seeking approval because in gaining the approval, you are rejecting yourself.

Instead, it is best to stay true to yourself and to give yourself permission to follow your own path.

The following tips will show you how you can become the best you possible.

Tip One:
Give yourself permission to have dreams and goals in your life, regardless of what your family and friends may say or think. If you want to learn how to climb a mountain, go skydiving one day, or spend hours painting just go for it.

Tip Two:
Remember that you own your life and that you have only one life. Life is too short to keep putting things off until next week or next year. Start making plans that will help you fulfill your dreams.

Tip Three:
Write out your dreams and desires on paper. This will help them feel more real to you. Then go through your list and place them in order. Have the one you want to do first on top.

Tip Four:
Start planning out how you will achieve your dream. Do you need to learn a new skill? Take certain lessons? Or you may have to save up the cash for it.

Tip Five:
Create a plan of action of things that you can do immediately that will help you reach your dream. It can often help to break down larger goals into much smaller ones. This way they become more manageable and easier to attain.

Tip Six:
Stay motivated and on track with reaching your goal. Don’t let others dissuade you from your dream.

Tip Seven:
Stay realistic with your dream. Ensure that your end goal is something that you can actually achieve. There is no point in dreaming of climbing a mountain if you are terrified of heights!

Tip Eight:
Be authentic to those who try to stop you in your tracks. Listen to their objections and then counter them with an action plan. If you map out your steps to reach your goal and can clearly show this to others, objections will become fewer as time goes on.

Tip Nine:
While reaching your dreams will help fulfill your life, you don’t want to lose your friends and family over it. Take time to discuss your plans with anyone who is concerned. After all they do have your best interests at heart.

Tip Ten:
Ensure that your goal is something you really want. Don’t do anything out of spite just to prove a point to someone. Open up your heart and your feelings and let those tugs pull you in the right direction.
The very first step in goal setting is to clearly define your purpose i.e. who you really are and what you are trying to achieve with your life.

Each goal should help you be congruent with your purpose and help you to live your purpose.

The key to pushing through the tough times…

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I am currently implementing the plan which governs the remainder of this year and all of next year.

The stage of the plan which I am working on right now involves a lot of the following activities:

  • Article writing
  • Product and Service delivery
  • Training and reading educational material
  • Research
  • Financial Accounts

While I do enjoy each of these activities, they are also very tiring activities which require a great deal of concentration.

The sheer quantity of these activities at present is very tiring. Despite this, I find myself jumping out of bed each morning to get cracking on the work for the day. The reason I do this is that the vision I have for my business and work is so inspiring to me.  And, the reason it is so inspiring is because the vision itself is inspired by my purpose.

In fact, it is bringing my purpose to life. That is how you get motivated to push through the difficult activities, days and weeks.  You take the time to identify and define your purpose. You create a vision for your life/business/work which will serve that purpose and bring it to life.

Then, you create the goals which will enable you to realize that vision. It all starts with a clear and defined purpose i.e. who you are and the reason you want to do what you want to do. It is only when you are clear on your purpose that you start to feel the real joy, enthusiasm and motivation for life.

So, take the time to get clear on your purpose. I promise you that it is worth the effort.


Similar Synthetic Drugs

The two intoxicants in the plant are cathinone and cathine. They are similar to but milder than amphetamine. In the last several years, synthetic forms of this drug have become popular and dangerous. Synthetic cathinones are very often the types of drugs found in “bath salts.” They are far stronger in their synthetic forms. Mephedrone, methylone, methcathinone and MDPV (3,4-methylenedioxypyrovalerone) are all illicit synthetic drugs in this class.

Addiction Doesn’t Always Involve an Illegal Drug

There are plenty of people who are addicted to substances that can be purchased legally. Alcohol, for example, is legal for an adult to purchase. A person abusing inhalants can become addicted to common household chemicals. And in other cases, it takes time for a drug to be outlawed in a state or country, once its dangerous properties are recognized. Therefore, khat use in a country in which it is not illegal can still be damaging to the individual who can’t stop using it despite harm being done to his life, relationships or future.

Even if khat is used in accepted social situations, if a person stops being able to be successful in life, if he neglects goals that are important to him or stops caring for responsibilities that he once held dear, such as his career or family, then the chances are very good that this person needs help to leave khat abuse behind.

The Narconon drug and alcohol rehabilitation program can help a person addicted to khat, just like it helps an alcohol or heroin addict. The drug does not matter, because the pattern of addiction is very similar from one person to the next. The generally eight to ten week Narconon rehab program has an excellent record of helping those addicted to any substances find lasting sobriety and a return of interest in those things that really matter to him or her.

KHAT Dosing

The appropriate dose of khat depends on several factors such as the user’s age, health, and several other conditions. At this time there is not enough scientific information to determine an appropriate range of doses for khat. Keep in mind that natural products are not always necessarily safe and dosages can be important. Be sure to follow relevant directions on product labels and consult your pharmacist or physician or other healthcare professional before using.

Psychoactive and mental health effects

The increased energy level and enhanced mood from khat use led some users to suggest that khat is a useful treatment for depression: “We use it for remedy and it doesn’t cost the government” (Somali woman, Melbourne). Conversely, commonly identified psychological health problems such as disrupted sleep patterns, low mood and irritability were reported to occur after the effects of khat had worn off.

A minority of participants identified a link between heavy khat use and more severe mental health problems:

It’s a very major source of madness, of craziness. People are alright if they stop it, they can come back alright . . . but when you overuse it, and overuse it, that’s when you come to this situation. (Somali man, Perth.)

The general view of participants in to a proven survey was that people do not become more violent upon using khat, although some participants reported domestic violence linked to khat use. Many participants



Keep On Smiling

If at times you feel you want to cry.
And life seems such a trial.
Above the clouds there’s a bright blue sky
So make your tears a smile.

As you travel on life’s way
With its many ups and downs
Remember it’s quite true to say
One smile is worth a dozen frowns.

Among the worlds expensive things
A smile is very cheap
And when you give a smile away,
You get one back to keep.

Happiness comes at times to all
But sadness comes unbidden
And sometimes a few tears must fall
Among the laughter hidden.

So when friends have sadness on their face
And troubles round them piled
The world will seem a better place
And all because you smiled.

In Heaven On Your Birthday – ELVIS MUANGE

In Heaven On Your Birthday –


My arms are so empty to hold you just once
Even now I have not cried all my tears
I miss you so much that I can not express.
The only regret, is that I did not love you as soon as I knew
I felt scared and alone I didn’t know what to do
But it didn’t take long for you to steal my heart.
It happened the moment I heard your heart
The tears in my eyes, the love filled my heart
Little did I know you wouldn’t be with us long.
Those 9 months passed by like a blink of an eye
You came so quick and all by yourself
If you only knew how proud we were.
You were such a strong boy but yet so small
Your tiny hands, and your daddy’s feet
You were our blessing then as you still are now.
You brought us close as family
And even now you still make us strong
I’m thankful for your short life.
And that I was able to give you just that
I’ll never forget you kicks, hiccups, or the pain I felt
It’s something that mommy n daddy will hold in their hearts forever.
The talks we had with your mommy
Even now your always on my mind
No one will replace or take your place.
You’ll always be my nephew
And my precious little boy
Our angel above
Elvis Muange

Love Uncle
Someday I’ll hold you in my arms once again…. WE SHALL MISS YOU



It’s Time

When I close my eyes, Shut out the pain outside
My soul turns inwards, And I feel the shame inside
I’m trying to be perfect, Trying to be right
But I know that deep down, For my soul I will have to fight

These demons are coming for me, I am not ready
I’ll have to be strong, Be determined, be steady
In a battle I can’t win, When the enemy is myself
My demons of sin, I know I’ll need help

But who do I turn to?…Who can I trust?
Bound by chains of shame, Which cannot rust
I have tried everything, Nothing has worked
Do I give up?…Let go of the stress, the hurt?

Do I lose myself to sin?…Lose hope
Let the darkness win?…Or do I rise and fight
Struggle and battle, For what I know is right
Either way is bad, But I know the path I’ll take
A better world, For myself I’ll make

I’ll try my best, I’ll win this war
I’ll pass the test, This is the final straw
Although my life has just begun, It is dark and cold
But there will be a rising sun, Shine rays of hope
Onto my cold world, To be reborn
Allow my wings to unfurl, And soar above the pain
Nothing to lose, Everything to gain.

I have made my choice
There is no going back

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/shame-of-addiction-shut-my-eyes



Written for someone special…..

May Graduation Day fill your heart
With feelings of accomplishments this day,
To bring you peace of mind and happiness
In every special way.

May the fond memories of school days
Glow warmly in your beloved heart
Where the cherished classmates
Will forever play a vital part.

May Graduation Day be extra special
With elaborate pomp and show,
May the procession of elated graduates
Create glee and parent faces to glow.

May the ceremony for conferring diplomas,
The cards and acknowledgements and flowers
Fill the day with pride and immense joy
And delightful and meaningful hours.

May those you love and respect surround you
To share your moments of glory this day,
May the accolades of Graduation Day
Come into your life to forever stay.


My Mother, My Hero

My mother,
She wakes before me, sleeps after me.
She gets me ready fast and steady.

Sometimes I wonder if she is a robot.
Needs no pay, just our smiles,
Never takes rest, no matter cold or hot.
Never gets tired though she has a pile to do.
If there is a super hero, it’s my mother.

I’m blessed to be blessed by her.
She scolds me and hugs me,
Makes me cry and makes me laugh.
Her touch is softer than fur.
She cares for everyone: me, my brother, and father.
If there is a super hero, it’s my mother.

Mothers can die for their children,
But my mother loves me more than just that.
She is like the sweetest dove,
Sitting on a tree of love.
I am blessed that she is my mother.
If there is a super hero, it’s my mother.

I know we can’t always be together,
But no one can hold us apart.
She is my life,
She is my heart,
She is my mother,
She is my super hero.



How Unique Are You Really?

11053175_1149084715108868_4435108004017552260_nThink what a remarkable, unduplicatable, and miraculous thing it is to be you! Of all the people who have come and gone on the earth, since the beginning of time, not ONE of them is like YOU!

No one who has ever lived or is to come has had your combination of abilities, talents, appearance, friends, acquaintances, burdens, sorrows and opportunities.

No one’s hair grows exactly the way yours does. No one’s finger prints are like yours. No one has the same combination of secret inside jokes and family expressions that you know.

The few people who laugh at all the same things you do, don’t sneeze the way you do. No one prays about exactly the same concerns as you do. No one is loved by the same combination of people that love you – NO ONE!

No one before, no one to come. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY UNIQUE!

Enjoy that uniqueness. You do not have to pretend in order to seem more like someone else. You weren’t meant to be like someone else. You do not have to lie to conceal the parts of you that are not like what you see in anyone else.

You were meant to be different. Nowhere ever in all of history will the same things be going on in anyone’s mind, soul and spirit as are going on in yours right now.

12717176_1271677389516266_3185442817146735946_nIf you did not exist, there would be a hole in creation, a gap in history, something missing from the plan for humankind.

Treasure your uniqueness. It is a gift given only to you. Enjoy it and share it!

No one can reach out to others in the same way that you can. No one can speak your words. No one can convey your meanings. No one can comfort with your kind of comfort. No one can bring your kind of understanding to another person.

No one can be cheerful and lighthearted and joyous in your way. No one can smile your smile. No one else can bring the whole unique impact of you to another human being.

Share your uniqueness. Let it be free to flow out among your family and friends and people you meet in the rush and clutter of living wherever you are. That gift of yourself was given you to enjoy and share. Give yourself away!

See it! Receive it! Let it tickle you! Let it inform you and nudge you and inspire you!

11393126_1129785007038839_5552374927587643387_nYOU ARE UNIQUE!