Tag Archives: Single Dads

LISTEN TO YOURSELF AND YOU

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A great deal of bad time management comes from trying to do what everyone else wants you to do.

A great deal of unhappiness and lost confidence comes from trying to do what everyone else wants you to do.

Whether you want to be:

  • Productive
  • Successful
  • Happy
  • Confident

Or any of the above; you need to dedicate your life to living from the inside out. In other words, you need to be true to your purpose, values and; set goals which are truly your goals.

Listen to yourself and you’ll always be happy

Coaching requires the coach to spend a great deal of time listening the client. When appropriate, the coach will interject with a question. There are a number of reasons why the coach may choose to ask a particular question but quite often the question is saying one thing to the client – listen to yourself.

listen to yourself header

It is important that the client does not just listen to the words they speak, but also to the way in which they say it and the feelings they experience when they say it. This is listening at a much deeper level than most people are used to. When you listen to yourself, you live your values and pursue your dreams. This is one of the most effective strategies for reducing stress and increasing personal happiness.

We all like to offer advice to our friends but sometimes, when we are offering that advice from the depths of our heart, we are not just speaking to our friends, we are also speaking to ourselves. So, take the time to listen to yourself; it may be the wisest advice you ever receive.

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Why you must forget about FAIRNESS

DSCF5751I always believed in treating others fairly.

Perhaps as a natural consequence of this, I expected others to treat me fairly.

This caused me a lot of emotional pain because many people didn’t treat me in a way which I believed to be fair.

It was devastating for my confidence and self-esteem until I read a beautiful piece by Dr. Wayne Dyer, where he stated there was no such thing as fairness.

It suddenly dawned on me that everybody had a different definition for fairness.

If everybody’s definition is different, then there really isn’t any such thing as fairness.

There are just standards and values we choose to live by.

And, you cannot demand that others live by your standards.

When you accept that standards and values are not universal, you don’t get upset by perceived unfairness.

You simply accept that others are living by their own values and standards, as is their right, and they may not be a good fit for you.

If you find their standards unpalatable, you can of course choose to speak up or, even remove them from your life.

Values and standards are essential for communication, happiness, self-esteem, confidence and success.

They determine what you expect from yourself and what you will accept from others.

You just need to have clearly defined values and standards.

HAVE A FANTASTIC WEEKEND!!

I GIVE THANKS

I give thanks to you, O Lord,

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TO GOD BE THE GLORY

For what you’ve blessed me with
The abundance of the blessings
From heaven that you give

 

For I have all received from you
The abundance from your hand
In many varied and different ways,
You’ve blessed us in this land

I only need to look around
At what you, Lord, have given,
To see the many blessings I have
And see your full provision

 

So, Lord, to you I give our thanks
With full and grateful hearts,
The blessing of family, friends and love
And just for who you are.

ASANTE BABA!!

We lost each other……

I could ask you to stay,
But there’s really nothing left to say.

This break up has been emotional and long,
But I know I’m strong.

I guess we naturally grew apart,
But it still hurts in my heart.

We went days without speaking or sending a text,
And all I could wonder what was next.

There were times we couldn’t look each other in the eye.
How did we get this far, and why did something so special have to die?

As I write this, memories flood me.
They remind of all we used to be.

Even when things we’re bad, I never thought this relationship would end.
Our broken hearts I thought we could mend.

Now you’ve left without a goodbye.
I’ve got no energy to even cry.

I knew it was over when we started doing things on our own.
You got so distant and I was alone.

I tired getting you to notice that I was still there,
But you made up your mind and didn’t care.

There’s many nights when you’re all that’s on my mind.
I hope happiness is what you find.

There are days when I just can’t get out of bed.
But “try” is what you always said.

So every day I try to put on a smile.
Even if it’s not a real one for a while.

We were together for so many years, so do you ever shed tears?
I know I’ve got to let you go,

And someday I will,
But mixed emotions are what I feel.

We both made our fair share of mistakes.
It feels like I’m drowning in sadness, anger, and resentment, all in different lakes.

I honestly wish you nothing but the best
As my strength and endurance is put to the test.

Life In A Love – Poem

Life In A Love – Poem10614162_10155324470407355_2140398748429594992_n555

Escape me?
Never—
Beloved!
While I am I, and you are you,
So long as the world contains us both,
Me the loving and you the loath
While the one eludes, must the other pursue.
My life is a fault at last, I fear:
It seems too much like a fate, indeed!
Though I do my best I shall scarce succeed.
But what if I fail of my purpose here?
It is but to keep the nerves at strain,
To dry one’s eyes and laugh at a fall,
And, baffled, get up and begin again,—
So the chase takes up one’s life ‘ that’s all.
While, look but once from your farthest bound
At me so deep in the dust and dark,
No sooner the old hope goes to ground
Than a new one, straight to the self-same mark,
I shape me—
Ever
Removed!

KEEP ON SMILING

Keep On Smiling

If at times you feel you want to cry.
And life seems such a trial.
Above the clouds there’s a bright blue sky
So make your tears a smile.

As you travel on life’s way
With its many ups and downs
Remember it’s quite true to say
One smile is worth a dozen frowns.

Among the worlds expensive things
A smile is very cheap
And when you give a smile away,
You get one back to keep.

Happiness comes at times to all
But sadness comes unbidden
And sometimes a few tears must fall
Among the laughter hidden.

So when friends have sadness on their face
And troubles round them piled
The world will seem a better place
And all because you smiled.

Not A father…. A DADDY!!!

Not a Father…. A DADDY!!!!

No matter what anybody says, it’s not easy raising children. Whether you have one child or ten, it’s going to be tough. Add to this the fact that you are a single parent, and your life is now ten times harder. In today’s world it’s not at all uncommon to see single moms raising their children, but when you are a single father…

I have had custody of my Sons. These have been some of the best months in my life, the tough times and all. But during this time I have seen and heard more sexist comments about single fathers than I ever thought possible.

To begin with, the social system is mostly setup to help the single mother. It seems that none of the workers expect to deal with a single father. Here are some of the other situations I come up against these days:

I received a letter from the Child protection office . They said they would help me get child support from the father. At first I didn’t think anything of it until I began reading the forms they wanted me to fill out. All the information they put on the form about me was in the mother’s section. The remaining section asked about a hundred questions about the father. I later called and was told to scratch out where it asked about the father and put mother.

On another occasion, I took my son to the doctor his mother had chosen for him. After sitting there for over an hour the doctor came in and asked who I was. After telling him everything that had happened and that I had custody; he turned to me, looked me in the eyes, and said, “You can’t do this!” When asked what he was talking about he replied “You’re male! You can’t raise a child by yourself. She has to have her mother, not you.” I looked him in the eye and told him that my son did not need a sexist fool as her doctor, and that we would never darken his office door again.

I was given WIC aid (women, infants, and children). Things were going well until I went to a local grocery store to pick up some. I got to the checkout line, and when I handed the male cashier my WIC card he asked me where I got the card. He stated that such cards are not issued to men and said, “I know this isn’t yours.” My first reaction was to yank him across the counter, but I didn’t. Biting my tongue and reaching for my WIC ID, I was saved further argument by the manager stepping forward and checking me out rapidly. I could give you more examples of the discrimination that I have had to put up with, but it would take pages to do so.

I’m sure the majority of men are not prepared to handle raising a child on their own, and do not want to be. But there are also many of us who have the ability and desire to do so, especially when it means that our own offspring is loved and nourished by a parent rather than being abandoned to other people.

Women have fought for equal rights in the workplace, which they greatly deserve. Now what do we, as single fathers, have to do to receive equal rights as a parent? Are we going to have to fight for years to get beyond this? I agree that all children need a mother and father; unfortunately this is not always possible. I also believe that a single father can do just as good of a job raising his children as a single mother can. My sons 10 and 4 yrs are handsome, healthy, strong and growing up responsible men day by day.

So to everyone who says a single father cannot raise a baby–I’ll see you in eighteen years at graduation!